How did I decide on the title for my blog, Stronger than Yesterday?
Short Version: these were the only words I could quote to myself for a year after my unfortunate collision.
Long Version: I invariably envisioned myself as a good sympathizer, yet there are some things a person must experience for themselves to understand the full impact of complete devastation.
Things that make you hurt in places you didn't know you had.
It is true that the grieving process begins to lessen after that first year. That is, if you grab on tight & make a decision that you are going to live instead of letting that hurt control you.
Many times I could only concentrate on hours at a time, over a period, those hours became full days. The same question berating my conscious moment after moment. "Am I going to be Okay"? I don't recall purposely asking this, yet it managed to work it's way into my thoughts constantly. I spoke with God each day, never asking why, only asking that same boomerang question. Once shouting, "Say Something"! I collected myself and accepted authority of my life.
I disagree that God wants you to let it all be in His hands. He gave me a swift kick in the pants. All I had to do was shut up and let Him talk. I chose to listen and save myself.
Today as I sip my flavored hot coffee, staring at my lit Christmas tree from top to bottom, I recognize that this will be the third holiday season that I will not be able to walk due to surgeries.
As my eyes travel down the tree, they stop at the memories hanging on branches. I smile. It just doesn't matter. I am here to add more precious memories to our tree with my family. I survived, I fought, I didn't give up.
Life should be simple, yet sometimes we let it be hard. It may be the only thing you can say on some days, but it is enough. If we keep trying, then we are Stronger than Yesterday.
From start to now! Who knew I would be able to raft?
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