Horrible Bosses

     Most of us have endured at least one horrible boss in our career.  If you have not, you should.  It teaches you lessons you use to guide you throughout your adult life. 

 

 

 The worst boss I have ever had the displeasure of working under was my very first adult job.  Freshly graduated from X-ray school, I landed my first position at Bothwell Regional Health Center located in Sedalia Missouri.

     The radiology tech field had become flooded as I graduated. I felt indebted to find a seat in this geographic area.  Sedalia was larger than my home town but still was not too far away for a weekend visit.  I never even knew what this quiet city had to offer me due to my first horrible boss. 

     Here are five lessons that I had learned NOT to repeat from that short initial job choice:

     1-Speak before you Think:  By all means, please say whatever comes out of your mouth, no matter how crude, insulting or racist it is.  Your employees love hearing negative low level phrases come from your mouth!  (This kind of behavior cascades over into the employees attitudes and soon you hear the negativity rolling off their/your tongues in as ill a manner as your horrible boss.)

     2- Ignoring employee diversity:  If your were advanced in age, gay in any form of the word or your skin color was not white, you did not belong in his department and it was made known to you. (I was a young, naive woman when I encountered whom I thought was going to be my first role of leadership.  My mind was blown and my mouth often parted in confounded awe at the bigotry of this ugly specimen.)

     3-Ensure that your staff feels they need to protect themselves at all times: Especially from you that is.  Staff should always be on guard around you or the one troll you have managed to reel into your dark corner. (When workers feel they have no margin for error-ever, they generate unnecessary anxiety within themselves usually inducing minor mistakes normally not made by the calm, confident self they were before meeting The Witch King)

  4- "Suggest" your team work all three shifts in one week: Originally I was hired to swing between second and third shift so when my tyrant in charge "suggested" I pick up one day shift, I perceived I didn't have much of a choice.  I felt I should accept the offer or I would forever be overlooked for promotion. (There was no social life for my twenty-something self working all three shifts in one week.  My clarity lacked on the job due to my body desperately trying to find balance between waking and sleeping.  I could see the joy he took from my predicament.)

     5-Avoid all criticism towards yourself as a leader: Oh, yes, please avoid all feedback on how you can improve your leadership skills and provide a positive atmosphere for your department members.   
 As a tech you were forbidden to give encouraging advice and if you did you were branded and treated as a traitor.  If administration gave the advice, you do not agree with it and if asked, you confirm that your supervisor is adhering by all standards and such. (This additionally creates a resentment from all staff and an unintentional feeling of ill will towards you as a manager)

    I held out for a year before snagging a new position at a corporation that I would remain for the next nine years.  Bothwell Hospital required an exit interview for all faculty.  When asked, "Why are you ending your employment at this facility?", I balked.  I didn't want to be a snitch or admit the awful comments that I harbored for the wretched soul in the radiology department.

     The Human Resources rep leaned down and asked if it was due to the manager of our division.   Replying with a matter of fact, "Yes, Ma'am", she said a thank you and admonished that is why there is such a high turn over rate for radiology technologists in their hospital. 

   My first year in adult employment was horrendous.  Normally lit with a bright smile and attitude, I felt down trodden and stripped of a confident experience.  

     Early in my career I learned some valuable lessons that I have used in all of my life choices.  I have done well in those positions because of these and even though the experience brings 
dis-pleasurable memories, I would not change their participation in expanding my growth as a human being. 

If you never tasted a bad apple, you would never appreciate a good apple. 

  

I Don't Like Everyone I Meet

      Eh Hum.   Well that's kind of rude.

   
     There are always those that no matter how grand life is, they will always find something wrong with it.  No matter if you performed your activity with pure perfection, they will always find something you could do better.  They can take a simple conversation about how wonderful the sun feels and turn it into a full blown negative conversation about how it is shining too much or not enough. 

     We walk away from that negative conversation with our own shoulders slumped, our spirit stomped on  and no smile on our faces. 

     It is not fair of me to say that I don't like everyone I meet, it is more correct to state that I just do not enjoy everyone's company that I meet. 

     We all encounter those individuals that when you see them from afar, you stop, assess the situation and look for an alternate route around them.  We know the conversation will be pessimistic before we even start and we are not always in the mood to deal with the unfavorable effects that the exchange could have on us.

     Let me tell you of this story.

     The Spring after I began writing my blog I encountered one such woman.  It's not like I could avoid her each and every time we met, since we attended many of the same events.  One such day I turned and observed her making a bee line straight for me.   My muscles tensed, my teeth gritted against each other and I thought, " Oh SNAP!"  Too late.  Eye contact.  Fudge.

     Walking back to our vehicles slowly we began the usual exchange.  I could have given her a pot of gold and it would not have changed her attitude.  I finally had to tell her that her outlook about everything  sucked.  In a polite, but straight forward fashion that is.  

     She stopped us on the pathway and told me how much it meant to her that I was honest and that she faithfully reads my blog.  That she looks forward to each week.  

     I nodded, smiled and said thank you and turned to leave because I did not wholeheartedly believe her.  She then put her hands on my shoulders so that I would pay better attention and said, " No Carey, you don't understand.  My shoulders are so heavy.  I have a hard time handling my life and keeping a positive attitude.  When I read your blog  it brings me some peace and perspective."

     Oh.

     Standing there in shock, trying to quickly comprehend what just erupted out of this woman's mouth, I learned a lesson about myself.   I judged her quickly because of the exterior that she portrayed.  I did not once attempt to look past it at the depressed spirit she was carrying around.   I didn't want to.  It was not pleasant to be around her.  Her body slumped and her eyes, for the first time, were not hard with resentment.

     I sighed.  At the same time I was recovering from her confession, I rolled my eyes toward God for pushing me to do the right thing and silently sent him a message.  " You had better make it worth it when I get up there!"  I envision that His lips formed a slight smirk and I believe He even added a sarcastic wink.  He has a sense of humor, that God.

     We have no idea who will need us and when.  We have no

idea how our words or actions can affect someone.  Had she not put her hands on my shoulders, I would have quickly ended our conversation for fear of how it would spiral down.  I did not offer advice, I listened and fervently attempted to steer her down a more positive path. ( for everyone's sake!)

     Since that time we have developed a better relationship and even spoke of that exact moment as I am describing it to you.  As it turns out, she assumed I was a bit of a snoot because of my quiet personality and tendency to be introverted.  I snickered at our scene.  Here we both made assumptions without knowing the true reality of each other.  

     God puts us in positions that are not always desirable to us.  The position that He puts us in may be a lesson for our own learning or it could be that He is using us because that spirit He created will not listen to Him.  In this instance, I learned something as well as helped one of His children at the same time. 

 That, friends, is an incredible 

feeling.